Treatment update: week by week

This past stretch of treatment has been a mix of small victories and some really tough days. I’ve now had 5 radiation treatments with no issues at all, which feels like a big blessing. On the chemo side, I’ve completed 3 treatments, and that’s where I’m really starting to feel things in my body

How chemo days feel

My chemo days are Wednesdays, and I’ve started to notice a pattern. I usually get through the actual treatment day fairly well, but by the weekend and into Monday evening the side effects catch up with me. That’s when the nausea hits and I feel very weak, like someone slowly turned down the dimmer switch on my energy.

Thanksgiving on low energy

Thanksgiving was especially challenging this year. It was just my husband and me, and he didn’t make a lot of food, which actually worked out because I couldn’t eat much anyway. I felt sick to my stomach and could only manage a few bites at first, then later in the day I was able to eat a little more, but everything took effort.

A good day that still cost energy

On Saturday, we had some family over to watch a football game, and I genuinely enjoyed it. It felt good to have people around, to laugh, and to focus on something other than appointments and side effects. But as the day went on, I could feel my energy draining fast, and by the time everyone left, I was completely wiped out. It really seems like the more people I’m around, the faster my energy disappears.

Today’s feelings

Today I’m feeling the full weight of all of this. The fatigue is deep, the body pains are louder, and even simple things feel heavy. The tears just want to fall, and I have no idea why today of all days, because on paper it’s just a normal day. There is nothing special about it, and yet my emotions are right at the surface.

Learning my new limits

This is one of the strangest parts of treatment: realizing that my social battery and physical energy are not what they used to be, and that my emotions have a mind of their own. I can be happy one moment and start crying for no reason the next, and I don’t know how to fix it or make it stop. I love being around people and I want to stay “normal,” but right now my body and my heart have a much shorter limit. For now, I’m trying to listen to my body, let the tears come when they need to, rest when I can, and hold onto the small good moments, even when they come with a crash afterward.